Thursday, November 20, 2014

I have a bone to pick with modern-day dating.

I'm sure we're all familiar with the misconception that "everyone's doing it." ("It" meaning hooking up, having sex, etc.) And I say misconception because it's not true -- not every single person is doing it!! Shocking, I know, but it actually does feel that way when you're not doing it.

Right now -- as a single, 21-year-old college student -- I really feel like everyone is doing it. And by "it," I mean dating. Now, what exactly is dating? It seemed much easier in the good ol' days...

Back then:
A guy would ask you out in person, he would pick you up at your door, you would go to dinner and a movie, he'd drop you off at your door, and if you both liked each other, you would "go steady." Ha!

Today:
A guy likes your Instagram post, you favorite one of his tweets, you guys start texting and he asks you to "hang out." He texts you "I'm here" as he waits for you in his car (if he's picking you up, that is), you get a coffee or a drink, and he drops you off at your driveway. If you both like each other, you won't tell each other - that would be horrific. Instead, you'll just try to figure out what he's thinking and subtweet about him - maybe throw some angsty lyrics up in there -  and hope he'll take a hint.

How'd I do? I'm aware that I was a little dramatic, but I just wanted to illustrate the complexity of being a young adult in today's society. It's so hard, and so strange. And it's also awkward, or maybe that's just me.

I consider myself to be a relatively busy person. I have a full-time class schedule, I have a part-time job, I'm involved with different organizations on campus. How's a girl supposed to find a potential mate?

This is not a drill. I am asking a serious question. This is a PSA to all the successful daters out there:
HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I think dating would be easier if I actually understood what it meant and if I understood what it meant to other people. It is the year 2014, people. We have so much access to unimaginable things using technology and the Internet. And what are we doing? Finding potential mates by swiping our fingers left and right. (I'm not trying to hate on online dating, because I've done it, and it's definitely a viable option for people who don't have the ability to "get out there," but we have to admit that you have to weed through a whole lotta "no's" to get to a "yes.")

IS THIS WHAT THE WORLD OF DATING HAS COME TO?

I'll let everyone in on a little secret: I am an emotional, sensitive, and innately compassionate person. I love having really intensive, meaningful conversations with people. Small talk makes me wanna barf, to be honest. I'm just like, let's get down to the good stuff!

And, as much as I love my smartphone, I wish it didn't limit different lines of communication. Phone calls? Awesome. So much can get lost in translation when you're texting through a screen. But if I were to call a guy I liked out of the blue, he would think I was weird. Like, Stage-5-Clinger-I'ma-friendzone-this-bitch weird.

Why are we so afraid of being ourselves, being authentic? Why do we feel the need to read into things, or play "hard to get" to seem more desirable? Why can't we just let our guards down, take the dive, and be more straightforward?

This is my struggle with modern-day dating, and I really hope I'm not alone on this one.


'Til next time,
Christina