Friday, July 7, 2017

Are you good enough? Nope!

If I haven't said this before, I'll say it now - my blog posts are 85% for me, and the other percent (you can do the math) goes out to anyone who happens to read them. They're a public journal, you could say. A very public journal. If I'm feeling some type of way - sad, frustrated, "shook," as the kids are saying now - best believe I'll put it into writing.

So let's talk about something that definitely plagues my mind and might bother you, too. Being enough.

Are you enough? Short answer, yes. Long answer, no.

Despite how perfect my life seems (that was a joke), I often feel inadequate because that's just how life is.

Sometimes I don't feel "woke" enough. I'll share videos and articles, and I'll write about my frustration and exhaustion regarding oppression and police brutality, because that's what I personally feel capable of right now, but somehow I still end up feeling like less of an activist and, subsequently, less "Black."

Sometimes I don't feel positive enough. I follow a lot of new age-y, holistic, and health-minded people on social media, and I'll find myself feeling like I should be out hiking more or going to yoga more, or talking more about how "present" I feel and how beautiful life is.

Those are just a couple of examples. There are a few more insecurities and inadequacies - trust.

There are a ton of things out there and people out there that will make us feel as though we're just not doing enough and we're just not enough, period. So back to my first question, are you enough?

In the grand scheme of things, no. If we continue to look for the next thing, the better thing, the thing that will supposedly make us happy, strong, interesting, or good, then no. We will never be enough. (This isn't to say that goals aren't important.) Chances are you won't have the same quality of life as that person who's loving life and smiling on Instagram, because they're them and you're you.

I also said that you are enough, though. "Enough" is a word that probably has some Latin root, meaning something very meaningful, I'm sure. But the thing about "enough" is that it's immeasurable. And if you were to measure it, someone else would be holding the ruler, not you. So let's take "enough" out of the equation (and let's stop with all this math talk).

Since we can't measure whether you're good enough or strong enough or smart enough, why bother worrying about it? This is a legitimate question that I'm asking you, anonymous reader, and myself. When the standards are infinitely high, why worry?

This is going to have a really cheesy end to it, and I halfheartedly apologize. What is "enough" is 100% up to you. And if you take "enough" out of it, you just are. We need to realize that we're probably never going to be (x) enough and just deal. Just live our lives. You're doing what you're doing, you are who you are, and where you're at is where you're at.

'Til next time,
Christina